- "There are three things in life you cannot escape, Sir. Death, taxes, and E-L-F*CKING-I!"
- ―Trooper Eli Thompson
Eli Thompson, commonly referred to as Trooper Thompson, was a Trooper with the SASP and the former Chief of Police of Los Santos. Trooper Thompson is a venomous package of police knowledge, ruthlessness, and determination. If spotted on patrol in Los Santos, criminals beware for E-L-fuckin'-I is in town.
Not much is known about this San Andreas State Trooper, except for his vehement hatred for criminals and criminal activity. Known for his endless appetite for justice, an unerring devotion to the letter of the law, and an iron-hard will. The Trooper is also known for his witticisms and sharp comebacks.
His mind is as sharp as his wit, regularly demonstrating a fastidious understanding of U.S. federal law and California state legislation. One would be hard pressed to pull the wool over the Trooper's eyes, always one step ahead of the criminal gangs such as the (supposed "reformed") Leanbois and Los Santos Thugs (LST).
A smart man or woman would not trifle him unless they wanted to get a boot straight to Bolingbroke Penitentiary on a bullet.
Any history beyond his witty comments, references, and love for keeping the city streets clean, along with a love for teasing his subjects or chewing them out and teaching them a much-needed lesson on occasion.
On November 5th, 2017 Eli Thompson announced that he is taking an indefinite leave of absence from the San Andreas State Police force. Gunnar Mason was selected to replace him as the Los Santos Chief of Police.
On January 22nd, 2018 Eli Thompson has put back on his duty belt and worked one shift with the Blaine County Sheriff's Office. This was a one-time occurrence, and he has stated that he will not be returning. Trooper Thompson is currently content pursuing other endeavors elsewhere, away from the volatile streets of Los Santos.
- "Later on Dude!"
- "Surprise Penis!"
- "The way we spell law is .E. .L. FUCKING .I."
- "Why am I not surprised?"
- "You're a Pop-Tart Sweetheart, you're soft in the middle"
- "You're gonna need Doc Brown and a fucking DeLorean to get back to a year you recognize"
- "I'm gonna beat seven shades of shit out of you"
- "You're going up to state prison on a fucking bullet"
- "I'm sorry ma'am I'm out here looking for a, unlicensed blowjob salesman, and that's going to be Y O Fucking U."
- "Miss fucking Stone"
- "Billy Mays here with the new dick hose"
- Al Saab: Multiple gun shot wounds
- Jason Freeman: Multiple gun shot wounds
- Peter Ross: Life in Prison