"Cock-a-doodle-do"
"Taste the cock"
"Putting the yolk into yokel"
"110% meat"
"Suffering never tasted so good!"
"If you enjoyed it, the chicken didn't die in vain!"
Introduction []
Cluckin' Bell is a fast food restaurant chain specialized in chicken-based food products. The Cluckin' Bell Mascot Is named Cluck Norris. Cluckin' Bell Website
Biography []
Cluckin' Bell was established in 1982. In 1992 the company ran two advertisements on local media. The first commercial states that Cluckin' Bell breed chickens with "Six wings, forty breasts" before quickly gassing them to death. The second is a dig at animal rights protesters, and suggests that Cluckin' Bell previously served rats along with the chicken but is no longer doing so. It also implies that they use chemicals which result in breast swelling in humans.
In 1994, Cluckin' Bell was taken to court in Ohio, winning the case after no link could be found between Cluckin' Bell meals and mammary gland swelling. The Cluckin' Bell website also says that the company takes no responsibility for erectile dysfunction, hair loss, heart disease, brain shrinkage, obesity, stomach ulcers, blindness or teenage acne. The website also documents how a "recent" case against the company ended after the judge in Mexico City was killed.
Theme song[]
The company's two theme songs featured in their somewhat odd radio advertisements, and their website, are below.
| The first is as follows: | The second song is as follows: |
|
"Cock a doodle doo it's time for chicken! Cock a doodle doo it's time for a feast! Eat a 90 piece bucket, you can tell, He's been to Cluckin' Bell! The chicken is a bird with a tiny brain, So we assume he doesn't feel any pain, We shrink their heads and we breed 'em fast, Six wings, forty breasts, then they're gassed, Cock a doodle doo we're psychotic crazies, Cock a doodle doo factory farming's insane, We denied it all before our stock price fell, Come down to Cluckin' Bell! Cluckin' Bell: If you enjoyed it, the chicken didn't die in vain!" |
"Cock-a-doodle-do, we're a huge corporation, Cock-a-doodle-do, and we can't be stopped, All you protesters can go to hell, It's time for Cluckin' Bell! From the factory farmer to your plate, The chicken's life is a sorry state, It's pumped full of chemicals, but what the hell, They even make my breasts swell! Filled full of hormones, so they get fat, At least we no longer slip in a rat, I love chicken with a shitty smell, And that's why I love Cluckin' Bell! Cluckin' Bell: Suffering never tasted so good!" |
Locations[]
Cluckin' Bell has a factory, farm and warehouses in Paleto Bay named "Clucking Bell Farms"
Cluckin' Bell operates three outlets in Los Santos:
- Las Lagunas Boulevard, Rockford Plaza in Burton.
- Innocence Boulevard, Davis.
- Pleasure Pier, Del Perro.
