"Charmed, I'm sure." -- Neil Kaiser
Neil Kaiser is an elderly man who is close friends with Humphrey Kaiser, though there is no familial relation. Together, they drive around in a small blue sedan and run a scam business pretending to offer lawyer advice for $500.
After driving to meet defense attorney Leon Church at Del Perro Pier and nearly exploding their car, both Neil and Humphrey met Leon and Juan Goodman, who was there as Leon's security. After a comment was made about Juan's weight, he took both Neil and Humphrey to the opposite side of the pier out of view of Leon. He aimed a gun at both men, which caused Neil to have a heart attack. Subsequently, Humphrey also had a heart attack while attempting to perform CPR on Neil while calling blame on Leon. Neil's last words on the scene before losing his pulse were his infamously spoken quote: "Charmed, I'm sure".
Neil was pronounced dead at 00:17 on May 29th, 2018 at Mount Zion hospital. He died clutching on to his phone, which had the background set as a picture of him and Humphrey.